Mini Drunken Pumpkin Coconut Pies

 

Have you ever served on a jury?

I have. A few years ago I was put on a federal case at the Los Angeles court house. The defendant was a smarmy little man who was, without a doubt, about a thousand percent guilty of smuggling 3 million dollars worth of Ecstasy into the country using teenage drug mules.

For two weeks I had to watch him represent himself, after firing his public defender, and very poorly and arrogantly cross examine those miserable teenage girls who had come to testify against him as well as anyone else who took the stand. At one point, the detective who had spent the better part of the previously year building a case against him took the stand to defend the piles and piles (quite literally) of evidence against him, most of which was collected in his home.

“well,do you have picture of me with these alleged drugs? or with the alleged thugs?”

The detective responded with, “First, the drugs are not alleged they are real and right on that table. Second, No, I did not take a picture of you with any drugs, or thugs, or in a box or with a fox. Doesn’t make you any less guilty.”

I laughed so hard, and for so long it required a shushing for the judge. I was LOUDLY shushed by the oldest man I had ever seen still earning a living. A man who fell asleep twice the first day of trial.

Later that day, after I had composed myself, I looked over to see Old Man Judge flipping through a sketch book of artfully drawn pictures of naked women. I was probably the only one who could see the cartoon style smut, I was seated in the far top seat of the Jury Pit, closest the judge. Ok, I’m sure “Jury Pit” isn’t the right term, but it was either that or  “Judicial Dugout.” Please, let me know if you know the real term.

The first thing I think is, “You MUST be old, your porn is hand drawn!” The second thought was, “I can’t believe he doesn’t have to pay attention to this, but I do.”

At the end of a very long 2 weeks, we found Smarmy Drug Dealer very guilty, and I found later that he confessed to it all.

Why am I telling you ALL of this? Because, other than the pen and ink peep show, the most surprising thing about serving on a jury is how exhausting it was. I was SO tired at the end of the day, after doing nothing more than just sitting there forcing myself to listen to terms like bifurcate and per curiam.

And as I start to write this cookbook and I spend the entire day forcing creativity to get out of my brain and into my KitchenAid, I am exhausted at the end of the day. Really, not as surprising a 90-year-old man asleep on the job atop parchment inscribed with a nude Botticelli-esque drawing. But still, I wasn’t really expecting it.

 

Mini Drunken Pumpkin Coconut Pies

Ingredients

    For the Dough
  • 1 1/3 cup flour
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 tbs sugar
  • 1 stick cold butter, cut into cubes
  • 2 tbs ice cold beer (high ABV works best)
  • For the filling
  • 2 cups pumpkin puree (if using canned, make sure it is not pumpkin pie filling)
  • 2 eggs
  • 3 tbs flour
  • 1/2 cup coconut milk fat, scraped off the top of a can of full fat coconut milk
  • 2/3 cup brown sugar
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/4 cup pumpkin ale
  • 1 tsp coconut extract (can sub vanilla extract)

Directions

  • In a bowl, add the flour, salt and sugar, mix to combine. Add the butter cubes and rub into the flour with your fingers, or a pasty cutter, until well combined. It will resemble coarse meal. Add the beer and mix until combined, adding more until all the flour is moistened and the dough is able to form a ball. Form into a disk, wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
  • Preheat oven to 350. Roll out dough on a lightly floured surface. Cut dough into 4 inch circles, a large margarita glass works wonderfully for this.
  • Spray the wells of 12 to 14 muffin tins with butter flavored cooking spray. Place each circle into a well and gently press into shape, allowing for a bit of an overhang.
  • In a bowl, add all of the filling ingredients, whisk until well combined. Pour into mini pie crusts. Bake at 350 for 18-22 minutes or until the filling has set and no longer jiggles when the pan is shaken.
http://thebeeroness.com/2012/11/15/mini-drunken-pumpkin-coconut-pies/

 

25 Responses to Mini Drunken Pumpkin Coconut Pies

  1. Erin @ The Spiffy Cookie November 15, 2012 at 4:57 am #

    I have never served on a jury before. ::knock on wood::

  2. claire @ the realistic nutritionist November 15, 2012 at 7:19 am #

    Mini pies are the BEST!!

  3. Natalie November 15, 2012 at 7:52 am #

    At a loss for what to make for dessert this Thanksgiving, I see this in my RSS feed – lo, and behold the answer! We’ll be getting boozy with this on (my non-)turkey day.

  4. Addie | culicurious November 15, 2012 at 9:45 am #

    I love the idea of pumpkin and coconut together. I’ve been toying with the idea of making blondies with the two and I this recipe has given me the confidence to pursue that recipe. Thanks :)

  5. Averie @ Averie Cooks November 15, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    Love that they’re mini AND that there’s coconut milk (fat) involved. How creamy and great!

    And the jury story. Wow..!

  6. Billy Bo November 15, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    Yum! I’ve never seen pumpkin coconut

  7. Kate @ Kate from Scratch November 15, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    The title alone has such a powerful effect. I think I just drooled slightly. Delicious!

  8. Michelle Collins November 15, 2012 at 11:49 am #

    I, thankfully, have only been called to jury duty once so far, and was dismissed. But even sitting in the “jury pool” for two hours was exhausting enough!

  9. Gerry @ Foodness Gracious November 15, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    Awesome story, you should have had one of these pies on hand and chucked it at his head…but that would have been a total waste ;)

  10. Cassie | Bake Your Day November 15, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

    I adore your stories. I have never served on a jury but know the feeling of utter exhaustion. Hope you get some rest but I know when you hold that cookbook in your hands, every second of sweat and hard work will be 100% worth it! So proud of you.

  11. marla November 16, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    Such feisty little pies! genius ;)

  12. Jess November 16, 2012 at 10:03 am #

    Super cute!!

  13. TheSean November 16, 2012 at 11:11 am #

    I can imagine your attempt to quiet your laughter… I was doing the same thing here “at work” only without the cart-nude-doodles. LA sounds just like I’d imagine it to be.

    Thanks for the delicious story and hilarious mini-pies… I’ll be checking your blog more often:)

    Signed,
    TheSean

  14. Katie @ Blonde Ambition November 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Still not sick of pumpkin ale here, so this sounds great! That story is too funny. I haven’t had to serve on a jury yet, or even report to jury duty (I got dismissed before even showing up my first time), but it seems like it would be worth it to come out of it with a funny story.

  15. Ashley - Baker by Nature November 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    You’re such a gifted story teller, Jackie! And these little drunken pies are adorable!

  16. Kiersten @ Oh My Veggies November 19, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    This is the second pumpkin coconut recipe I’ve seen today. I think this is a sign–I need to try this combination. These look like little bites of heaven!

  17. Autism Blog November 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    And can drink the remainder of that beer while these little beauties are in the oven. yum yum!

  18. Kim Bee November 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    Laughing my alleged butt off right now.

    Great recipe. Love coconut far too much. I just can’t get enough of it.

    • Jackie November 24, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

      Awww, thanks Kim. I still feel very desensitized and lacking inspiration at then of the day :) Maybe, I’ll get the hang of this soon and have more energy to do something outside my kitchen!

  19. marilynr December 20, 2012 at 11:14 am #

    It’s called a Jury Box. I could not stop laughing.

    • Jackie December 21, 2012 at 9:37 am #

      Good to know ;)

  20. Alegna November 28, 2013 at 1:03 pm #

    Will this recipe convert to a full pie ok?

    • Jackie November 28, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

      I’m not sure. Give it a try!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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