Chewy Gingerbread People with Chocolate Stout Pants

Gingerbread People with Chocolate Stout Pants

Leave it to me to booze up a holiday classic. I do that sort of thing this time of year. I also have very specific ideas about gingerbread and cookie making in general I want to tell you about. I can be opinionated about small things far more than big things, but cookies need rules.

First, soft and chewy will always be preferable to crispy and hard. You can keep your mouth scraping sugar cardboard, I’ll take mine soft and chewy because I don’t hate myself.

Also, while I find intricately decorated royal icing covered masterpieces impressive and beautiful, I don’t want any part in making them. My rule is: it must take more time to eat them than it takes to decorate them, or you’re spending too much time on the wrong part of enjoying the cookie. Keep it simple.

Also, when it comes to gingerbread, the ginger shouldn’t be the loudest of the flavors. I firmly believe that the cinnamon, molasses, and ginger should all have equal voices. Which is why I should change the name to Gingolassamon cookies but that’s just too much to explain. And you can disagree with me and make your own cookie rules, you do you.

Also, cookies shouldn’t have a gender because that makes me think of putting genitals into the mouths of people whom I’ve baked cookies for and that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to be responsible for making that sort of choice for another person. Therefore, my gingolassamon cookies aren’t men, they’re genderless people. With pants.

Yum

Chewy Gingerbread People with Chocolate Stout Pants

Yield: 12 large, or 24 small

Ingredients

For the cookies:

3 ¼ cups (390g) all-purpose flour
1 ¼ cup (250g) dark brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground cloves
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ cup (172g) unsalted butter, softened
¾ cup (180g) molasses (not blackstrap)
2 tablespoons stout beer

For the Chocolate Pants:

10oz bittersweet chocolate
¼ cup stout beer

Instructions

Add the flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, salt, and baking soda to the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Stir to combine.
Add the softened butter, molasses and beer, stir on low speed until combined.
Transfer to a long sheet of plastic wrap, form into a flat disk, wrap tightly.
Refrigerate for 2 hours and up to 2 days.
Roll dough out on a lightly floured surface until just under ½ inch in thickness.
Cut out gingerbread people, add to 2 baking sheets that have been covered with parchment paper.
Freeze for 20 minutes (this will help prevent spreading).
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Bake for 10 minutes. Remove from oven, pull the parchment paper off the sheets and onto a flat surface. Allow to cool.
In the top of a double boiler set over lightly simmering water, add the chocolate and beer. Stir constantly until most of the chocolate has been melted. Remove from heat and continue to stir until all the chocolate has melted.
Using a spatula or butter knife, spread chocolate onto the cookies. Decorate as desired.
Allow to cool until chocolate has set before serving.

Notes

Blackstrap molasses is what happens when you boil cane juice three times, removing nearly all the sugar resulting in a black, bitter sludge. Dark, light or unsulphured are all fairly interchangeable and pleasantly sweet. Make sure never to use Blackstrap when a recipe calls for molasses unless it’s specifically called for.

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Invisible Apple Cake with Beer Caramel Sauce

This is why you don’t try to do things halfway. And by “you” I mean me, I’m talking to myself again. It happens, look away if you must.

On my way to dinner at a lovely couple’s house, I decided to kill two birds (not literally, I swear) and bake a dessert for these two wonderful men, one that I could also photograph and give to you (work bird, dinner party bird: both dead). It was a great plan until I decided that I didn’t REALLY need to cut into it to photograph it. You were just going to have to trust me about all those gorgeous apple layers.

The thing is, these are two guys that aren’t just amazing humans they are also fantastic cooks and cocktail makers, people who have outstanding and beautiful taste. I didn’t want to do what I normally do, which is cut up the thing, take pictures of the thing, put-back-together the thing, and then apologize for the thing once I arrived. So I was just going to take photos of the OUTSIDE of the cake, and bring it intact.

Which worked long enough to get myself out the door and over to dinner to enjoy beautiful cocktails and Thai food as well as an intact dessert. Until I got home and realized that I can’t do that to you.

It also needs to be mentioned that this is 100% about my own neurosis, the lovely friends in question would have found a previously detached, photographed, and reattached dessert adorable and charming and encouraged me to do this, had I asked.

So I made it again, just so that I could cut it open and show you these layers. Then I ate it. Maybe that was my subconscious plan all along, I do things like that.

Yum

Invisible Apple Cake with Beer Caramel Sauce

Yield: 6-8 servings

Ingredients

For the cake

2 lbs (3-4 x-large) Honeycrisp apples
2 eggs
½ cup (100g) sugar
1/3 cup (72g) beer (pilsner, lager, pale ale)
3 tablespoons (42g) butter, melted
¾ cup (90g) all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt

For the sauce

½ cup (100g) brown sugar
1 tablespoon (14g) butter
3 tablespoons beer
1 teaspoon vanilla
½ cup (130g) heavy cream

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Peel and core the apples. Slice very thinly, set aside.
In a large bowl stir together the eggs, sugar, beer, butter, flour and salt.
Add the apples, toss to coat.
Line a large (10 x 5) loaf pan, or an 8x8 square pan with parchment, spray with cooking spray.
Add the apple mixture to a the prepared pan.
Bake for 60 minutes or until the cake as set. Allow to cool, remove from pan. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Add the brown sugar, butter and beer to a saucepan over high heat. Boil for two minutes, remove from heat. Stir in the vanilla and heavy cream, return to heat and bring to a boil again. Boil for one minute, remove from heat, allow to cool.
Pour the caramel over the cake, slice to serve.

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Easy Chocolate Beer Pretzel Truffles

Easy Chocolate Beer Pretzel Truffles, 4 ingredients, and just a few steps!

I have a problem, the sort that will probably be solved with beer-infused chocolate, as most minor problems usually are. My problem (one of many, I’m sure you already know) is that I almost always assume that people—upon first meeting me—don’t like me. For one reason or another, this is what I default to: “I don’t think she likes me. Sure, she’s being nice, but that’s just because she’s a nice person.” This does not, however, stop me from being chattier than said new person would probably like.

I know, it’s ridiculously insecure and eye-rolly. I know this. But it’s my default mode, thinking I have to earn it, like most things I have in my life. Then I do things like make chocolate truffles and bacon cupcakes and give them away hoping to earn peoples likes. Also: don’t do that. I don’t recommend it. But I’m far better at giving advice than I am at taking it. I’m an excellent advice giver, just ask. I’ll kick some wisdom at you.

I don’t take the advice, I just give it away. Unless that advice is about what beer to cook with or how to infuse chocolate with booze, those nuggets of wisdom I keep close. Also, if you want advice about what beer to pair with your dinner, or what city to visit on a whim, I’m your girl. How to navigate the intricacies of unknown humans? Maybe ask someone else. I’ll just be over here with these truffles trying to make friends with the new UPS guys.

Yum

Easy Chocolate Beer Pretzel Truffles

Yield: 24 truffles

Ingredients

8 weight oz dark chocolate (60%)
¼ cup heavy cream
¼ cup stout beer
1 cup crushed pretzels

Instructions

Add the chocolate, heavy cream and beer to the top of a double boiler set over gently simmering water.
Stir until just before all of the chocolate has melted. Remove from heat, continue to stir until the chocolate has melted.
Allow the chocolate to cool until set (add to the refrigerator to speed up setting).
Add the pretzels to a shallow bowl.
Once the chocolate has set use a melon baller to pull out a ball about the size of a large marble. Roll in your hands until even and round.
Add the chocolate ball to the pretzels, roll until well coated. Add to a sheet of wax paper. Repeat for the remaining chocolate.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.

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Bourbon County Beer Marshmallows

Bourbon County Beer Marshmallows

When you count the seasons by what’s available in the bottle shops, you see the months pass in a different way. Right now we’re just leaving Fresh Hop Season and moving into Barrel Aged Beer season, one of the best beer seasons of the year.

It’s also the time of year when beer releases hit a fevered pitch and people wait in line for hours hoping to score a bottle or two of a beer that’s been aging in a wooden barrel that formerly housed liquor. It’s worth it, even if just for the bragging rights and the perfect cellarable beer. Beers that you always want two of, one for now and one to save for later. Stored properly they can be even better years later.

Bourbon County is the Godfather of the bourbon barrel aged beer. Goose Island is widely credited as being the first people to take a discarded bourbon barrel, load it up with stout, store it for nearly a year and then drink it just to see what would happen. This, more than anything, is a commentary on the heart of true brewer. Curious, courageously experimental, and unafraid to think outside the bottle.

It was a move that would have cultural repercussions beyond their wildest dreams. Starting a movement so strong and widely adopted it caused spent liquor barrels to go from a nuisance that distilleries had to deal with to a sought-after commodity that caused a shortage.

The face of beer is undeniably altered for the better because of the curiosity that caused Greg Hall to fill 6 bourbon barrels with stout in the early 1990s. In the name of that experimentation and curiosity, I decided that I’d like to figure out what would happen if you put a beer — one that had spent time cohabitating in a wooden barrel with the remnants of bourbon — into a marshmallow. Turns out, it’s pretty fantastic.

Yum

Bourbon County Beer Marshmallows

Yield: 24 marshmallows

Ingredients

Powdered sugar
3 envelopes unflavored gelatin (such as Knox)
½ cup barrel aged beer, such as Bourbon County (flat and cold)*
½ cup water (or beer)
2 cups, plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
½ cup light corn syrup
2 large egg whites
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Instructions

Grease a 9x13 baking pan, sprinkle with powdered sugar until well coated, set aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer add ½ cup cold, flat beer. Sprinkle with gelatin. Allow to stand while the sugar is being prepared.
In a large saucepan (mixture will bubble up) over medium heat, add the water, 2 cups sugar and corn syrup. Stir until the sugar has dissolved.
Raise heat to high and allow to boil until the mixture reads 240F on a candy thermometer (about 6-8 minutes).
Once the temperature has been reached, turn off heat.
Turn the mixer on low and slowly pour the hot sugar mixture into the gelatin. Once all the sugar has been added turn the mixer on high until light and fluffy and tripled in volume, this can take up to 10 minutes.
While the mixer is running, prepare the egg whites. Add the egg whites to a bowl with the salt. Beat on high with a hand mixer until stiff peaks form. Sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons sugar, beat until stiff peaks return.
Gently fold the egg whites and vanilla extract into the stand mixer ingredients until just combined.
Pour the marshmallows into the prepared pan. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. Allow to set at room temperature until set, about 2 hours. Remove from pan, cut into squares. Toss with additional powdered sugar to prevent from sticking together.

Notes

*Open the beer at least two hours before you plan to make the marshmallows, and up to several days in advance. Pour ½ cup into an open container. Loosely cover and refrigerate. Enjoy the reaming beer, since you HAD to open the beer it’s your job to finish the rest.

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Darth Vader Stout Beer Fudge

Darth Vader Stout Beer Fudge

This is ridiculous. I know what you’re thinking: why can’t you just make fudge like a normal person? But I found this silicon Darth Vader mold from that time I made Star Wars cupcakes and you can’t honestly think that I could just put it away and forget about it? Of course not.

And since we’re just entering Barrel-Aged-Beer-Season, as well as Fudge-Making -Season, it just makes sense. If you don’t have a Darth Vader silicon mold (but really, why not? You totally should) you can use any silicone mold. Because fudge is great, but it’s not as fun as Dark Side Fudge, right?

Plus, there’s beer in there. And since Barrel Aged beers come in large bottles and I’m only asking you to pour out 1/4 cup for the homies, I mean for the fudge, then you get to drink the rest. Have I talked you into this yet? Do I need to hone my Jedi Mind Trick skills? How about you make some fudge and we can talk about it.

Yum

Darth Vader Stout Beer Fudge

Yield: 12-14 peices

Ingredients

16 wt oz dark chocolate (60% cocoa content)
1/3 cup (102g) sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)
¼ tsp (.5g) vanilla extract
¼ cup (2oz) barrel aged beer
¼ teaspoon salt

Instructions

Add the chocolate, sweetened condensed milk, vanilla extract, beer and salt to the top of a double boiler (or a metal bowl set over a pot of gently simmering water).
Stir over medium-low heat (make sure the water does not boil) until most of the chocolate has melted. Remove from heat, continue to stir until all the chocolate has melted.
Pour into silicone molds, chill until set.

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Beer Eggnog Ice Cream

Beer Eggnog Ice Cream

I’m here to change your mind, to flip your vote. I know, I know, eggnog is gross, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Then I realized that it’s not. It’s actually quite amazing, it’s basically boozy, drinkable ice cream. IF you make it right.

Most importantly: back off the nutmeg. Because the difference between a teaspoon of “fresh grated nutmeg,” with its big, fluffy, air-filled piles, it’s about one quarter the amount you’d use if you just scoop it out of the McCormick bottle (jar? tin? container? What the heck do you call those things, anyway?)

Tl;DR: if a recipe calls for “fresh grated nutmeg” and you pssshhh all over that because you just want to scoop it out of the pre-ground tub (is that the word?), use 1/4 of what it calls for or you’ll wreck your dish.

Now that we’ve discovered why you didn’t like that one batch of nutmeg juice your aunt used to make, we can all agree that eggnog is amazing. Oh, and so is ice cream, and beer, obviously.

What beer should you use? Great question! I’m so glad you asked, let’s talk about that. Malty. Always a malty beer (back away from the IPA’s). I’ve done this a few times, this beer-ed up nog situation (I know, you’re shocked by this news, I’ll give you a second to recover).

Here are the undisputed reigning champs of beer-nog: Winter Ales (as long as it isn’t one of those winter IPAs), and Barleywines. Both are heavy on the malt, and full of those clove, cinnamon, spice notes that go so well in our boozy ice cream.

Sure, you can use a pre-made version. Or a leftover eggnog from your last nog endeavor. For an ice cream base, it’s completely fine. Want my scratch beer-nog recipe? Here it is: Pub Nog.

Just use a beer you love, a beer with high ABV and tons of malt. You’ll love it.

Yum

Beer Eggnog Ice Cream

Serving Size: 2 quarts

Ingredients

3 cups (730g) prepared eggnog (homemade or store bought)
1 cup (240g) heavy cream
½ cup (100g) brown sugar
½ teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ cup (6oz) winter ale beer or Barleywine

Instructions

Stir together all ingredients.
Churn in ice cream maker according to manufactures specifications until it reaches a soft serve consistency. This can take up to 20 minutes; the ice cream base should more than double in size (of all the ice cream recipes I make, this one takes the longest to reach this stage. Just keep allowing the ice cream to churn until it’s more than doubled in size).
Place in an airtight container, freeze until set, about 3 hours.

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Wild Ale Salted Caramel Squares

Wild Ale Salted Caramel Squares. 15-minutes and these are good to go!

This is what happens when I decide to give up sugar for a while.

I’m completely committed to the idea, and then I decide what I really need to do is make a whole batch of beer-infused caramels because that makes sense RIGHT after Halloween, obviously.

But then I decide to give them away (you know, because no one I know has WAY too much candy already), but before I do I need to eat some to figure out if they’re good or not. Then I eat more, you know, just to be sure. Which is a total lie because I like lying to myself about sugar consumption on a regular basis. I always get away with it, I’m an excellent self-liar. Although I’m terrible at lying to humans who aren’t me, I’m way too transparent.

Try it, ask me to lie to you about something I really want to lie to you about and you’ll be able to see right through me. No, I don’t like those shoes but I like you and I don’t want to hurt your feelings. No, I wasn’t ignoring your text, I just, ummm, there was… a bear in my yard?….and he was thirsty….

That’s how you know this is actually a really excellent use of 15 minutes, and completely delicious: I can’t lie to you. They’re also a great way to make holiday gifts and pretend like the batch only made 30 and not 60 because you would never just sit in your kitchen eating 30 caramels by yourself. It was that bear in your yard, he was also hungry…

Yum

Wild Ale Salted Caramel Squares

Yield: 60 caramels

Ingredients

1 cup (8oz) sour ale, plus 1 tablespoon, divided (i.e. Brett beer, Gose, Gueuzue, Flanders Red)
6 tablespoons (84g) unsalted butter
1 cup (200g) granulated sugar
½ cup (100g) light brown sugar
¼ cup (60 mL) heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon flakey sea salt (Like Maldon)

Instructions

Bring 1 cup beer to a boil over high heat, continue to boil until reduced by half, about 8 minutes.
Prepare a pan by adding a square of parchment to the bottom of an 8x8 baking dish. Spray the baking dish and parchment with cooking spray.
Lower heat and stir in the butter until melted.
Stir in both sugars, and cream until the sugar has dissolved.
Raise heat to high, clip a cooking thermometer onto the side.
Boil without stirring until the mixture reaches 255°F.
Remove from heat, stir in the vanilla and the remaining 1 tablespoon beer.
Pour into prepared pan.
Sprinkle with salt. Allow to cool slightly then place in the fridge to cool for 1 hour.
Cut into bite sized squares (spraying the knife with cooking spray will help to keep it from sticking).
Wrap in small squares of parchment or wax paper.

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Ridiculously Good Stout Vegan Brownies (with no weird ingredients)

Ridiculously Good Stout Vegan Brownies (with no weird ingredients), just some things you probably already have in your pantry. And these brownies are legit!

It’s not so much that flax-eggs are wierd. Or guar gum. Or agar agar. It’s not the “weirdness” of the ingredients I kept seeing in vegan brownie recipes, but rather the fact that I don’t own them. And outside of an online shopping trip, I have no idea where to procure such things in my neighborhood. I’m more of a vegan food enthusiast rather than an actual vegan.

What I really needed was a brownie recipe using just what I had in my pantry, because there is a good chance you’ll also have the same things in your pantry. They also needed to be actual brownies, not shiny-top cake squares (an issue with some recipes that don’t include eggs and butter).

I have a few rules and requirements when it comes to brownies: the absolute necessity of the crunchy top, they need to be chewy, and only psychopaths put nuts in a brownie. I like a fudgy, dense, chocolatey, chewy, crispy top brownie.

I tested the recipe over and over, making minor tweaks to fix the things I didn’t love, until it came out exactly the way I like my vegan food: shockingly vegan. As in, “serve it to meat eaters and astound them”. Or “Bring them to a dinner party and people ask for the recipe because they have no idea what it does not contain.”

It’s also a great recipe for those of us who always want to bake right before we realize that we are out of everything and don’t want to go to the store.

Want to check and see if your beer is vegan? Branivore can help.

Yum

Ridiculously Good Stout Vegan Brownies (with no weird ingredients)

Ingredients

1 cup (200g) sugar
¼ cup (56g) coconut oil (not melted)
2 tablespoons (30mL) vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 ½ teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup (74g) stout beer
½ cup (60g) unsweetened cocoa powder
1 ¼ cup (150g) bread flour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
½ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons espresso powder

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F
Add the sugar and coconut oil to a mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Beat on medium until well combined. Slowly add the oil and vanilla, beating on high until the mixture resembles frosting.
Add the baking soda and vinegar, beat again until well combined.
Stir in the beer.
In a mixing bowl stir together the cocoa powder, flour, cornstarch, salt, and espresso powder.
Gently stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients until just combined, mixture will be thick.
Add in an even layer to a greased 8x8 pan, press flat.
Bake for 22 minutes. Allow to cool before cutting into squares.

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Salted Caramel Stout Apple Bars

Salted Caramel Stout Apple Bars

I’ve been chasing the light around my new house for the past three months. I haven’t found it, not in any real way. It’s an occupational hazard, really.

Every time I move, I have to find it. I have to find that place in my house where I can set up shop and shoot what I need to photograph. I’m not an artificial light girl, possibly because I can’t really wrap my brain around the nuances of that medium. So I chase the sunlight, hoping each new spot, new time of day, new month of the year, will be when I find it.

I’ve lived in 5 houses since I started this journey with the very strange objective of getting paid for cooking with beer and taking pictures of it. I’ve always found the spot—where the light is just right—in every house that has served as my work-from-home office. The kitchen, the garage, behind the couch in my living room, the bedroom. You never really know where it’ll be.

Every house I move into, I have an idea of where I WANT to shoot, where I want to set up and settle in and start photographing. But the light, just like the rest of this world, doesn’t really bend to your whims the way you want it to.

Today, on round three of testing this recipe, I settled into a new location. Maybe because I shot this photograph there and decided I loved it. Maybe because it was easier to sit down in this spot and polish off a few of these before I cleaned up. Either way, I might just stay a while and see if the light will cooperate if I keep baking things covered in salted caramel frosting.

Yum

Salted Caramel Stout Apple Bars

Yield: 12 servings

Ingredients

For the cake:

½ cup (114g) butter, softened
1 cup (220g) light brown sugar, packed
1 egg
1 ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon olive oil
¼ cup stout beer
1 ½ (180g) cups AP flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
1 medium tart apple (i.e. Granny Smith), peeled and small diced (about 1 cup)

For the frosting:

¼ cup (57g) softened butter
1 cup (220g) packed light brown sugar
¼ cup (60mL) heavy cream
1 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 ½ cups (180g) confectioner's sugar
1 teaspoon sea salt, plus ¼ teaspoon, divided

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Add the butter and brown sugar to the bowl of a stand mixer. Beat on high until light and fluffy. Add the egg, oil and vanilla extract, beating until it resembles frosting.
Stir in the beer (it will curdle).
Sprinkle with flour, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and apples. Stir until just combined. Pour into an 8x8 baking dish that has been greased and floured.
Bake for 45-50 minutes or until the top has puffed and springs back when lightly touched.
Add the powdered sugar to the bowl of a stand mixer (or a mixing bowl, and use an electric hand mixer).
Melt the butter in a pot over high heat. Add the brown sugar, cream and vanilla, stir until just combined. Boil over high heat for two minutes.
Pour the caramel over the powdered sugar, beat until well combined. Pour the frosting over the apple bars in an even layer, sprinkle with remaining ¼ teaspoon salt, allow to cool. Cut into squares.

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IPA Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars with Beer Candied Pecans

IPA Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars with Beer Candied Pecans

I know, I get it. You’re already sick of pumpkin things and the season hardly started. I hear you, for me fall is all about hops. Spending last week running around the hop fields of Yakima, my love for hops has never been stronger (I’ll tell you all about that trip soon).

But it occurred to me, as I’m pints deep in hops, that although pumpkin isn’t the reason for the season when it comes to a true craft beer devotee, it’s a flavor that goes remarkably well with hops.

I’ve spent years meh-ing pumpkin beers when really I’m just averse to a boring, overly malted pumpkin ale. Once you brighten it up with hops, clean malts, bright flavors and minus the hell out of the overly cinnamon spice mixtures, you can get yourself a really lovely beer.

I understand if you want to walk out the fall squash door and never look back, but maybe you just want a brighter, cleaner beer. Pumpkin or not, this IPA Pumpkin Cheesecake Bar recipe is great to try your hand at baking with an IPA, a feat much more difficult than it appears. Hops are fussy and aggressive and can be a bit too much at times. But the sugar and dairy give them a nice balance, this is a recipe that can take a punch.

I used Stone Vengeful Spirit, if you want to look for some yourself they have a handy Stone beer locator on their site.

Yum

IPA Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars with Beer Candied Pecans

Yield: 24 squares

Ingredients

For the beer candied pecans:

1/2 cup Stone Vengeful Spirit IPA
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1 teaspoon salt, divided
1 tablespoon butter
2 cups pecan pieces

For the cheesecake:

9 standard sized graham crackers
2 tablespoon brown sugar
4 tablespoon melted butter
¾ cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
16 oz cream cheese (softened)
4 eggs
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (15oz) can pumpkin puree
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup Stone Vengeful Spirit IPA
1/4 cup flour

Instructions

Make the pecans:

Preheat oven to 250F.
In a large pot (it will bubble up furiously) over high heat add the beer and brown sugar. Stir until the sugar has dissolved.
Clip a candy thermometer on the side of the pan. Bring liquid to 235F degrees, remove from heat.
Add the butter, stir until combined.
Add ½ teaspoon salt and pecans; stir until the pecans have all been coated.
Pour pecans on to a baking sheet that has been covered with a silicon baking mat (or parchment paper that has been sprayed with cooking spray).
Spread pecans evenly over the sheet.
Bake at 250F for 15 minutes, stir and bake for an additional 15 minutes (if the pecans look foamy, stir until the bubbles have dissolved) remove from oven and sprinkle with the remaining salt.
Allow to cool to room temperature, break apart. (Can be made up to 4 days in advance, store in an airtight container in a cool, dry place).

Make the cheesecake:

Lower the oven temp to 300F
In a food processor add the graham crackers and brown sugar, process until only crumbs are left. While the food processor is still running, add the melted butter and process until it resembles wet sand.
Line a 9X13 pan with parchment paper making sure the parchment comes up and over the sides of the pan. Press crust into the bottom until well compacted.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, add the brown sugar, white sugar and cream cheese. Mix until well combined. One at a time, add the eggs and vanilla, mixing until well combined, scraping the bottom, before adding more.
Add the pumpkin puree, cinnamon nutmeg and salt, mix until very well combined.
Add the beer and stir until combined.
Sprinkle the flour over the bowl, stir on medium speed until just combined.
Pour over the crust.
Bake at 300F for about one hour or until the center no longer sloshes when gently shaken but just slightly jiggles (The secret to a great cheesecake is not to over bake it, it's better to slightly under bake it for a smooth mousse like texture).
Chill until set, about 3 hours.
Remove from pan using the parchment paper. Cut into squares, top with pecans.

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One Bowl Chocolate Chip Beer Bread

One Bowl Chocolate Chip Beer Bread, in your oven in five minutes, in your face in one hour!

Fall baking isn’t as much about the food as it is about the fact that we can turn the oven on again. Just days ago, it seems, we were all googling “no-cook dinners” and hoping the triple-digit heat would pass soon.

Then, as if overnight, the weather calmed, we awoke to rain on a garden that still held the last gasps of summer produce, and we’re again free to wear sweaters and pull on the wellies.

Let us bake again, slow down for a second as out lives orient to the pulse of this part of the year. Just slow down, take a day away from the obligation we force on ourselves and just be.

Just a reminder that the world will still be there when you rejoin, that it’ll be fine without you for a bit, and making something just because you want to has a way of healing the chips that the daily grind works into your soul.

A day in the kitchen, an audiobook and the smell of things baking in the oven has a way of calming a storm inside us, bringing calmer waters and even has the added bonus of warm baked goods to give as a peace offering to those in our lives that love us even when we’re difficult.

Yum

One Bowl Chocolate Chip Beer Bread

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 55 minutes

Total Time: 1 hour

Yield: 1 loaf

Ingredients

3 ½ (420g) cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup (150g) sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup (240g) full-fat sour cream
2 tablespoons (30g) vegetable oil
¾ cup (6oz) beer (wheat beer, brown ale, nothing hoppy)
4 ounces dark chocolate chips

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350°F.
In a large bowl stir together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and sugar.
Make a well in the dry ingredients, add the eggs, vanilla, sour cream, oil, and beer. Stir to combine.
Stir in the chocolate chips.
Pour into a large (10x5) loaf pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray or greased with butter.
Bake until the top has puffed and turned golden brown, about 55 minutes.
Allow to cool, remove from pan, slice and serve.

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Blackberry Sweet Rolls with Beer Dough

Blackberry Sweet Rolls with Beer Dough, like cinnamon rolls just WAY better.

It finally happened. Out of nowhere, and without my consent. I’m not even sure when it started, really. But now, it’s official.

I’m a Pacific Northwesterner, authentic and legitimized and I was finally given proof. I am, after all, a California girl born and raised. Heat seeking, lizard-on-a-rock always looking for a terrarium to spend time in. Summer was always my favorite season, and I need sunshine like I need air. But then, it happened.

After weeks of near triple-digit heat squeezing the breath out of Seattle area, I woke to a light rain, air sweet and soft, and a dew covered garden. “Thank God,” I thought, “It finally rained,” and there it was. A delicate summer rain was welcomed into my life like aloe on a sunburn.

I’m a Pacific Northwesterner. I even found myself aching for the fall, the sweaters, the smell of a fireplace, the color of the leaves as they say goodbye like the finale of a fireworks show.

I won’t be drinking any pumpkin spice lattes any time soon, so don’t get any ideas. I will, however, be picking as many blackberries as I can before they leave for the year. Freezing the excess for winter baking, and take full advantage of these charming weeds that overtake the Seattle area side roads and unkempt lots.

Just about 20-minutes of picking yielded 4 pounds of fruit, so obviously I needed to spend Sunday afternoon baking some Blackberry Sweet Rolls, and settling into the idea that for the first time in my life I’m not really sad to see the summer come to an end.

Yum

Blackberry Sweet Rolls with Beer Dough

Yield: 12 servings

Ingredients

For the dough:

4 cups (480g) all-purpose flour
2 ½ teaspoons (1 envelope) rapid rise dry active yeast
¼ cup (50g) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon (2g) lemon zest
1 cup (8oz) beer (Hefeweizen, pale ale, pilsner)
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
2 teaspoons (10g) vanilla extract
1 teaspoon (6g) salt

For the filling:

½ cup (114g) butter, softened
½ cup (100g) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon (6g) salt
1 teaspoon (5mL) fresh lemon juice
1 ½ cup (220g) blackberries

Frosting:

1 tablespoon (15mL) lemon juice
1 teaspoon (6g) lemon zest
1 teaspoon (5g) vanilla extract
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
½ cup (114g)softened butter
2 cups (240g) powdered sugar
½ teaspoon (3g) salt

Instructions

Stir together the flour, yeast, sugar, lemon zest, in a stand mixer.
Heat the beer to 120°F (Always defer to the liquid temperature listed on the package of yeast, regardless of what the recipe says. Your yeast package says 105°F? Heat the liquid to that temperature!)
Add the warmed beer to the stand mixer, mix until incorporated.
Add the butter, vanilla and salt. Continue to beat until the dough is no longer sticky and gathers around the hook, about 8 minutes.
Add dough to a large, lightly oiled bowl. Cover and allow to rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
Add dough onto a lightly floured surface. Roll into a large rectangle about 9x13 inches in size.
Add all filling ingredients (except the blackberries) to a bowl, mix until well combined.
Spread the filling evenly across the dough, sprinkle evenly with blackberries.
Starting with the long end, roll the dough tightly into a long log. Cut into 12 rolls about 1 ½ inches wide.
Add the rolls tightly into a baking dish, cut-side up.
Allow to rise until doubled in size, about 30 minutes.
Bake at 350°F until golden brown, about 40 minutes.
Beat together the butter and cream cheese until well combined. Add in the remaining ingredients, then beat until light and creamy.
Frost before serving. Serve within 10 hours of making.

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Chocolate Stout Cake with Cherries: Fudgy and Flourless!

Chocolate Stout Cake with Cherries: Fudgy and Flourless!

Chocolate stout cake is the perfect way to get back into your life after getting lost in writing a book. It’s like asking for forgiveness for your comprehensive neglect without actually apologizing for fear of reminding everyone how absent you’ve been as you waded through 30,000 words.

It’s also a reminder that flour is unnecessary in chocolate cake, it’s so much better without. So rich, dense and delicious it doesn’t even need frosting. As if the cake is above frosting, outgrown the need for it.

I would never dissuade you from a frosting related endeavor, live your truth. But if I WAS to frost this magical chocolatey beerified treat, it would be with something just as profanely mature, and wide-eye inducing.

I’ll give you some examples, just in case you are, in fact, contemplating topping this cake with something: salted caramel whipped cream, espresso ganache, bourbon mascarpone frosting.

Or, just get a pint of ice cream (salted caramel? espresso rum? horchata?) and make it a ridiculous sundae. Just make sure to serve it with a stout.

Yum

Chocolate Stout Cake with Cherries: Fudgy and Flourless!

Yield: 6-8 servings

Ingredients

6 oz dark chocolate (60%), chopped
1/3 (3oz) cup stout
½ cup (114g) butter, chopped
1 ¼ (250g) cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs
3 tablespoons (45g) vegetable oil
¾ cup (88g) cocoa powder
1 teaspoon (6g) salt
2 tablespoons (16g) cornstarch
1 cup (160g) pitted dark cherries

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F.
In the top of a double boiler over a simmering water add the chocolate, beer and the butter. Stir until the butter is almost melted, turn off heat and continue to stir until butter is melted, remove from heat.
In a mixing bowl whisk together the sugar and eggs until well combined. Stir in the oil. Sprinkle with cocoa powder, salt and cornstarch, whisk until well combined.
Stir in the chocolate and the cherries until combined.
Place a round of parchment paper inside a 10-inch spring form pan, rub the inside of the pan and the parchment paper with butter.
Pour the batter inside the prepared pan in an even layer.
Bake for 40-45 minutes or until the top is puffed and no longer looks wet, don’t over bake of cake will be dry. Remove from oven and allow to cool on a wire rack for 10-20 minutes. Transfer to a serving plate.

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Beer Caramel Sauce: Jalapeno IPA Caramel

Beer Caramel Sauce: Jalapeno IPA Caramel

Jalapeno Beer Caramel sauce is something you could easily side-eye. I get that. What do you even do with it?! Don’t you worry, I’ve got that covered.

Not only am I hooking you up with a super easy caramel sauce recipe, I’ve also got some really easy ideas of how you’re just dying to use it (you are, trust me).

First: Grilled Pineapple with Jalapeno Beer Caramel Sauce. Didn’t I tell you? You just oohhh-ed to yourself thinking about it. But I have some more, I’ve thought about this for a bit.

Chicken and Waffles with Jalapeno Beer Caramel Sauce
Vanilla Ice Cream with Jalapeno Beer Caramel Sauce
Mini Doughnuts with Jalapeno Beer Caramel Dipping Sauce (right?!)
Sour Apples with Jalapeno Beer Caramel Dipping Sauce

You see what I’m saying? I know that at first sight it might not seem like something you’d want to make due to lack of possible uses, but there you go. Now you not only have a recipe for a quick and memorable caramel sauce, you also have recipe ideas as well as a great reason to open a beer.

You’re welcome.

I used this amazing DIPA from Barrage Brewing Company that I loved before I even opened it because of the name, obviously. (Thanks @InkedBeerLover for sending it my way!)

Yum

Beer Caramel Sauce: Jalapeno IPA Caramel

Ingredients

1 cup (200g) sugar
½ cup (4oz) IPA beer, plus 2 tablespoons (30mL)
2 tablespoons (28g) butter, cut into cubes
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 large jalapeno, sliced
2 tablespoons heavy cream

Instructions

Add the sugar, and ½ cup beer to a pot over high heat. Stir until the sugar has dissolved, then don’t stir again until the end. Swirl the pan to redistribute the sugar when necessary.
Boil until dark amber in color, about 6 minutes, remove from heat.
Immediately stir in the butter, salt, jalapeno, heavy cream and remaining beer (it’s best to have this all prepped and ready to go prior to this step).
Stir until the butter has dissolved. Allow to steep for ten minutes.
Remove the jalapenos.
Add the sauce to an airtight container, store in the fridge until ready to use.

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Drunk Diablo: Chocolate Stout Devils Food Cake with Mexican Hot Chocolate Frosting

Drunk Diablo: Chocolate Stout Devils Food Cake with Mexican Hot Chocolate Frosting

When you have a weird job, there are two categories of projects you work on. The first types are the reasons you got into this in the first place. The love projects. The creative soul projects. The goosebumps and fevered excitement projects.

Those are the ones that keep you going. The second type, are the ones that pay the bills. The ones that you still like, the ones you’re grateful for, the ones that you still throw your heart and gypsy soul into, but in your heart of hearts, you know you’re only doing them because you like electricity and groceries and being able to pay those bills affords you such luxuries.

If you’re lucky, there is a huge Venn diagram overlap between the two. Most of what you do is —to one degree or another— both. I very rarely do projects that are just to pay the bills, but I very frequently find myself immersed in a passion project that will probably never result in any type of bill-paying.

I’m ok with this, it’s how I know I’ve chased my career down the right rabbit holes.

Right now I’m trying to turn my number one passion project into something that’s more in the center of that diagram. It’s a website I started about a year ago, a project I’ve been trying to move forward and I’m really in love with it.

It’s Craft Beer Photography, it’s stock photos, it’s prints, it’s “please hire me to photograph your brewery because that sounds really fun and I want to do it.”

It’s also one of my favorite parts of this weird job I’m trying to invent for myself. Because no one has ever really done this and I’m still trying to figure out what it looks like.

For now, let’s eat some cake and drink some beer and figure the rest out later.

Yum

Drunk Diablo: Chocolate Stout Devils Food Cake with Mexican Hot Chocolate Frosting

Yield: 10-12 servings

Ingredients

For cake:

3 ounces bitter sweet chocolate
½ cups (4oz) hot brewed coffee
1 cup (8oz) stout beer
3 large eggs
2 ½ cups (375g) sugar
¾ cup (180mL) vegetable oil
1 ½ cups (360mL) sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 ½ cups (300g) all-purpose flour
1 ¾ cups (168g) unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons (10g) baking soda
1 teaspoon (5g) baking powder
1 teaspoons (6g) salt

For the frosting:

1 ½ cup (342g) butter, softened
2 cups (386g) vegetable shortening*
¼ cup (24g) cocoa powder
3 cups (390g) powdered sugar (plus additional to taste)
¼ teaspoon (0.5g) cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon (4g) cinnamon
½ teaspoon (2g) chili powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the ganache:

10 wt oz dark chocolate (60% cacao)
¾ cup (180mL)heavy cream
¼ cup (60mL) stout beer

Instructions

Preheat oven to 325°F.
Add the chocolate, coffee and beer to a microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high for 30 seconds, stir and repeat until melted (this can also be done in a double boiler).
Add the eggs and sugar to the bowl of a stand mixer, beat on high until light in color and well combined. Add the vegetable oil, sour cream and vanilla, beat until well combined. Mix in the chocolate mixture.
In a separate bowl stir together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
Sprinkle the dry ingredients over the wet ingredients, stir until just combined.
Divide evenly between three 9-inch cake pans that have been greased and floured.
Bake for 35 minutes or until the top springs back when lightly touched.
Add the butter to the bowl of a stand mixer, beat on high until light and fluffy. Add the shortening, beat until well combined. Add the remaining frosting ingredients, beating until well combined. Frost the cake, with frosting between all the layers. Refrigerate while you prepare the ganache.
Add all the ganache ingredients to the top of a double boiler set over simmering water. Stir until the chocolate is almost all melted. Remove from heat and continue to stir until the chocolate is completely melted.
Pour the ganache over the cake, spread in an even layer, or allow to drip down the sides.

Notes

*Just use the shortening. It’s a texture thing, and it’s totally worth getting over the fact that shortening skeeves you out. It makes the most amazing frosting, trust me, just do it!

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Stouts and Scouts: No Churn Thin Mint Beer Ice Cream

Stouts and Scouts: No-Churn Thin Mint Beer Ice Cream. Ten-minute prep!

This is my exception. Really, the only one. I have an aversion to mint that started in a cave in Middle Atlas the day before I almost died in Morocco.

But the thing is, if you are ever in a cave in Middle Atlas and a very nice cave dweller offers to make you tea, YOU DRINK IT! Even if the water is so dirty it looks like mud. Even if the glasses are a little cracked and leaky. Even if you’re fairly certain you’ll end up with dysentery.

Even if your guide through Middle Atlas turns out to be a drug dealer. That last part really had nothing to do with the tea other than it magnified an already strange experience.

After that day, mint was never the same. I wouldn’t take it back if you paid me, it was an amazing (although slightly terrifying at times) experience that happened to change the way I respond to the flavor of mint.

Thin Mints are the exception. Maybe it’s because they taste nothing like the mint leaves that had been muddled into my glass that day.

Or maybe it’s because they remind me of being a kid. Or maybe it’s because I’m such a sucker for those little cracker dealers outside the grocery stores that I can’t help but buy them every time. And since the appropriate place to store your crack, I mean Thin Mints, is in the freezer, making ice cream just made sense.

And if there is a better cookie and beer pairing than Thin Mints and an Imperial Stout I can’t think of it at the moment.

Yum

Stouts and Scouts: No Churn Thin Mint Beer Ice Cream

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 3 hours, 10 minutes

Yield: 6-8 servings

No churn, ten minutes prep!

Ingredients

1 ½ cups heavy cream
½ cup powdered sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
½ teaspoon salt
8 thin mint cookies, crushed
¼ cup stout beer (Imperial stout preferred)

Instructions

Add the cream, powdered sugar, and granulated sugar to the bowl of a stand mixer. Beat on high until soft peaks form.
Add in the cocoa powder, salt, and crushed cookies, stir to combine.
While the mixer is running, slowly add the beer until it is well combined.
Add to a freezer safe bowl, freeze until set, about 3 hours.

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Individual Stout Mousse Cakes with Flambé Bourbon Beer Cherries

This is for you. Or really, it’s for us. Because I decided a long time ago to redefine Valentine’s day to be about more than just romantic love (although I pretty much covered romantic love that time I wrote about blowjobs).

Valentines is about the people you love, all of them. Even the ones who never see you naked. Especially the ones who never see you naked (this leads me to the “how much inappropriateness can I shove into one paragraph?” line of thought).

You’re single? Who cares, you love tons of people! Your mom, your neighbor, your bartender. You have plenty of people to love all over and share a beer with. That’s what’s important. The people we get to love and make a cake for.

I love you, for instance. Mostly because you make it possible for me to do my weird job. Where would I be if you didn’t care that I make food with beer instead of just drinking it like a normal person? I know where I’d be, I’d still be doing this.

Which would be fine, but my weird job is amazing. It’s more than I think I even deserve. So to thank you, I made you a cake. Feel free to share it with your mom, or your neighbor or your bartender.

Or, you know, that person who gets to see you naked. As if seeing you naked wasn’t present enough!

Yum

Individual Stout Mousse Cakes with Flambé Bourbon Beer Cherries

Yield: 2 servings

Ingredients

For the cherries:

¼ cup Bourbon
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup barrel aged stout
1 cup Bing cherries, pitted (thawed if frozen)
¼ cup Cointreau

For the cake:

4 tablespoons (57g) butter (plus more for ramekins)
6 oz bittersweet chocolate (62% cocoa content)
¼ cup (60mL) stout
3 eggs separated
¼ tsp cream tartar
¼ cup (50g) sugar
1 tablespoon (7g) cornstarch
1 tablespoon (8g) flour

Instructions

Add the bourbon, sugar, and stout to a saucepan. Simmer until sugar has dissolved.
Add the cherries to a re-sealable jar, pour bourbon/beer mixture over the cherries. Allow to sit at room temperature for one hour. Seal and refrigerate until ready to use, can be made several weeks in advance.
Heat the oven to 375°F.
Place butter, stout and chocolate in the top of a double boiler (or a metal bowl set over a pot of water) over gently simmering water. Stir frequently until melted, remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.
In the bowl of a stand mixer add the egg whites, salt and cream of tartar, building up speed, beat on high until soft peaks form. While the mixer is running add the sugar a bit at a time, beat until stiff peaks form.
In a large bowl stir together the egg yolks, cornstarch, and flour. Beat on high until light and slightly fluffy.
Slowly pour the chocolate mixture into the egg yolk mixture, beating until completely combined, scraping the bottom to make sure the mixture is well incorporated.
About 1/3 at a time, gently fold the egg whites into the chocolate mixture using a spatula. Stir until egg whites are well combined with the chocolate mixture.
Grease two large (10oz) ramekins or oven safe bowls with butter until well coated.
Add the batter evenly between the two ramekins.
Bake for thirty minutes or until the top has puffed and looks dry. Remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature before removing from ramekins.
Add the cherries to a small pot or skillet. Pour the Cointreau over the cherries. Using a kitchen torch or long match, light the liquid on fire. Swirl until to distribute the flame. Allow to flambé for about 2 minutes, then add a lid to extinguish the flame. Pour the liquid and the cherries evenly over the cakes. Serve immediately.

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Stout Cranberry Mascarpone Chocolate Truffles

Stout Cranberry Mascarpone Chocolate Truffles

I do this thing every year, and I think you should do it, too. It’s about resolutions. I make one every year, but they aren’t about denying myself things in a way that I will spend the year torturing myself with goals that revolve around fitness or money.

They’re about ways I want to add to my life, things I want to do, things other people call “bucket list” (I hate that term, if you want to do, just do it! Don’t add it to a list!) items.

Find something you’ve always wanted to do and make it your goal. Want to go to Panama? Figure out how. Of course you can, don’t look at me like that. What do you need to do? Take a second job? Save all your money until next November when you’ll go on a Central American holiday?

Whatever it takes, it can be done. Make a goal to do something you’ve always wanted to do, stop making resolutions to hate yourself for a few months then hate yourself for giving up.

A handful of years ago my New Years goal was to get published, 6 months later I had a book deal. The next year it was to get paid to write for magazines, that year I wrote about Homeboy Industries for a magazine and it’s still my favorite thing I’ve ever written.

This year my New Years goal is get work as a travel writer. Sure, I’ve done a few things. I’ve written this, and this, but I want more. I want something big. I’ll let you know how it goes, but for now, I’m hopeful.

Set your goal, tell me what it is, and we can check in on each other through the year. You’ve got this.

Yum

Stout Cranberry Mascarpone Chocolate Truffles

Serving Size: 18-24 truffles

Ingredients

¾ cup fresh cranberries
½ cup granulated sugar
1 cup stout beer
8 oz mascarpone cheese
1/3 cup powdered sugar
½ teaspoon salt
10 oz dark chocolate (60% cocoa content)

Instructions

Add the cranberries, granulated sugar and beer to a pot over medium high heat. Bring to a boil, boil for 5 minutes. Remove from heat, drain, add to a small dish and refrigerate until chilled (can be done several days in advance, cover if chilling longer than an hour).
In a mixing bowl add the mascarpone, powdered sugar, and salt, beat on high until well combined. Chill for at least 30 minutes and up to three days (cover if chilling longer than an hour).
Using a melon baller or small spoon, make half a ball of mascarpone, add one or two stout soaked cranberries, then add more mascarpone to make a ball about the size or a large marble. Add to a plate covered with wax paper. Continue until all the mascarpone is used. Add the plate of mascarpone balls to the freezer, freeze for 30 minutes.
Add about 8 oz of the chocolate to the top of a double boiler set over gently simmering water, making sure the water does not boil, keep the heat low. Stir until the chocolate is mostly melted. Remove from heat, add the remaining chocolate and stir until all the chocolate is melted.
One at a time add the balls of mascarpone to the melted chocolate with a fork, cover completely with chocolate, then return to the plate. Allow to dry until set, about 10 minutes. Chill until ready to serve.

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